Movement into sovereign

What I’ve come to understand as I’ve got older is that certain things have to happen in a certain order for a human being to evolve into a mature “elder.

Now when I talk about mature elder, I am basically using the archetypal model that was formulated by Carl Jung and developed by Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette in their book King Warrior Magician Lover.

Video – Archetypes

It’s a wonderful book which describes human development in archetypal terms, which for those of you who don’t understand this language basically means that it takes those patterns of behavior and deep subconscious impulses which are common to the whole of humanity.

It then distills them down into a formula that applies to each and every one of us. The same could be said of the Law of Attraction and the process of manifestation, of course – principles of attractiveness and desirability apply to each and every one of us.

Now, you may think it’s a strange idea that the whole humanity can be distilled down to certain fundamental patterns of behavior and ideology – but in actual fact, when you think about it, there’s nothing mysterious about this at all.

The human species not actually divided into races, because each and every human being can reproduce with each and every other human being – there is no species barrier of any kind. We are, in short, more similar than we are different.

If it’s true that we are more similar than we are different (and it is) then it follows that we must be similar in other ways besides our fundamental reproductive biology – for example, how about the similarities that might exist in the fundamental way in which our minds operate?

humans are similar wherever they live
We are more similar than we are different.

Since the fundamental structure of the brain is the same in every human being, it’s likely that this there are certain patterns of operation which are commonplace to all of us, then archetypal patterns could easily have evolved as a commonplace aspect of human psychological development.

By that, I mean not only the psychological development not only over time for the entire species, but over time for each individual member of the species.

And because we are the same, we are able to manifest anything because of our unique and divine connection to the universal intelligence – a process which people tend to refer to by using the expression “Law of Attraction.”

It’s abundantly obvious that young members of any species have completely different emotional, physical, sexual and care needs than older members – and it’s equally obvious that people move from a place of childhood to a place of maturity through different stages of life, each of which has certain uniform features, regardless of the society in which you examine them.

My thesis, therefore, is that we can take archetypal modelling as a basis for humanity and how it operates – including how it evolves from a state of immaturity to a state of maturity.

Carl Jung’s model of elderhood was basically designed to suggest that this is a time in which an individual “ought” to move into a space of joy and blessing. An elder, you see, is able to take events and experiences which in earlier life would have caused an emotional reaction of some kind, in his or her stride.

what is an elder
what is an elder?

This is the wisdom of elderhood:  the understanding about what matters and what doesn’t, the significance of events and dialogue and exchanges between individuals.

There’s a great deal of writing on the Internet about elder wisdom, but in essence it’s the movement from a place of internal evolution to a place of stability, a place where the essence of life is truly understood.

From that place of wisdom and stability, the elder man or woman is empowered to give blessing to the younger men and women around them.

Now it’s an interesting theory, but the practical application of this idea is that if any of the evolutionary stages which take an individual from immaturity to maturity get blocked – and boy do they ever get blocked in our society! – then the evolution into elderhood can’t take place, and the midlife crisis may develop.

There are, of course, many pieces of writing on the Internet about the midlife crisis as well.

It’s generally portrayed as a time of crisis caused by a man slowing down in his 50s, and then realizing that things which sustained his identity as a younger man – for example earning money, fucking women, competing with other men, and so on, can no longer sustain him – mostly because he’s no longer able to indulge these drives in the way that he once did.

Now I actually believe that the midlife crisis is an essential part of male development – I think it’s caused by the absence of certain necessary stages of development – in particular, the transition from the hero stage of life into the wise elder and sovereign.

So what’s the real point of this post? Well, first and foremost, I guess, it’s to recommend you read Douglas Gillette and Robert Moore’s book King Warrior Magician Lover!

But more to the point, of course, it’s to give you some framework in which you can  evolve into elderhood, feeling safe and secure in the knowledge that the transition through which you are going is perfectly understood in terms of human evolution…..  and indeed, is probably an evolution which has been experienced by every other single human being who has ever lived.

But in addition, I have another suggestion to make to you – and that is that you can control what happens to you rather than allowing life to control you.

One of the ways in which you can do this is by using the process of manifestation, and developing a spiritual life which will enable you to utilize the Law of Attraction to get whatever you want in life. (Oh yes, you can!)

If you’re interested in finding out how to do this, you can click here.

This is a website that should give you all information you need to be able to control your life in a much more effective way than perhaps you’ve been accustomed to in the past – and in doing so, it should make your transition into a mature elder much easier than it otherwise would be.

Manifesting reality

One of the things that often occurs to men in midlife is that they realize they have not achieved everything they would have hoped to achieve during their lifetime.

One of the reasons for this, of course, is that they very often don’t actually know what their true purpose in life might have been.

Video – the midlife crisis

When we talk about purpose, there are a variety of other words that may be used to mean the same thing – mission, soul purpose, life purpose – these are some of the most common.

The most common question that I’m asked by men who are feeling depressed in midlife is “How could I ever have identified what my life purpose was, and then lived it fully”?

Well it’s a very good question, and you may well wonder what your purpose is, particularly if you feel yourself moving towards a place of dissatisfaction and unhappiness about your achievements in life.

What I’d like to make clear at this point is that no matter how you feel about with the way your life has been, it doesn’t necessarily have to be that way for the rest of your life – what I would describe as “life purpose” changes as time goes by.

For an elder, which I would roughly define as a man moving into life beyond 50, soul purpose can be something about blessing and encouragement of younger men and women.

It’s a mistake to think that we all have to find our purpose when we 20 years old and then follow that path for the rest of our lives.

Indeed, younger men very often don’t actually know what their purpose is, and the early part of their life is (or at least, in my opinion, it should be) devoted to finding out what it might be by experimentation with different options.

The underlying principle here, of course, is that all our lives are predicated on a series of developmental steps which are necessary for us to achieve fulfillment.

If we don’t follow those developmental steps, either by accident or design, then we don’t reach the true potential that we can offer the world, and we generally feel depressed and unfulfilled – like something is missing.

Sadly because in our society there are very few mechanisms for going through the processes that would once have enabled us to identify all of these things, there are a great many people who remain unfulfilled and unhappy about the way their lives operating.

And, of course, as any aware person knows, our society is not necessarily ideal for achieving fulfillment and happiness.

A materialistic society such as the one we live in tends to disconnect people from each other, and enables them to console themselves by the acquisition of material wealth. (See this on happiness.)

So we face a double bind: the absence of the developmental processes which would enable us to find our true purpose, and a society which discourages self-exploration and deviation from societal norms.

In the face of such strong opposition to the exploration of, or even the expression of, the self-development processes that are necessary to acquire a meaning in life, it’s no wonder that so many people die dissatisfied and unhappy.

(If you doubt this, just look at the five top regrets of the dying, and see if any of them could possibly apply to you, when you think about the way your life is currently developing.)

Now I know that you wouldn’t be reading this if you didn’t have some sense of dissatisfaction or at least a sense that your life could possibly be improved in some way.

There’s an area of human experience called manifestation – which basically means the ability to create the world around you that you wish to be living in – and it involves the use of something called the law of attraction, which was popularized a few years ago by Rhonda Byrne in a book called The Secret.

Video – The Secret

Now I do not think that everything in The Secret was an accurate representation of ways in which you could influence the universe to produce the world around you that you really want to live in.

Nonetheless, Rhonda Byrne did us all a great favor because she drew our attention to principles of manifestation and co-creation which been around for a very long time.

These were principles well-known to people of previous generations through the writing of people like Napoleon Hill in Think and Grow Rich.

What it amounts to is that if you’re lacking a life purpose, and that if you feel you are in need of great fulfillment, or you have a sense of dissatisfaction that something is absent and missing from your life, then a great place to start would be to explore the principles of manifestation and the law of attraction.

One of the reasons for this is that those two areas of human experience will draw you into a whole area of exploration of self which can lead you to a life purpose and a sense of mission in the world.

For example, you may find that something that you’ve been thinking about on and off for many years can become a way of earning a living.

And if that happens, you’re truly blessed, because most people who have a burning desire to follow a passion of some kind (e.g. making music) don’t manage to find a way of making a living from it.

Alternatively, you might find that you can actually do something in your spare time gives you great fulfillment, while doing something quite different to earn a living.

Perhaps the most blessed experience would be the one in which you discover what you should actually be doing this time in your life, and you manage to find a way to transition into doing exactly that.

One of the most common transitions that men and women find they can make midlife is to become an elder in the true sense of that word – if you’re interested in what that actually means, you can read about it here.

Midlife Can Be Great!

Of course, the heading of this piece suggests that many men find it a time which is not great!

This is a time when men are often faced with questions about the purpose and function that they have. And as for sex…. well…. 

Does this appeal like it once did?
Sex drive decreases with age. You may be surprised at how it changes for you. 

The children may be leaving home, a long-term partner may be going through her menopause and finding a new purpose in her own life, so the dynamics of the relationship may be changing, and then of course there are the symptoms of declining testosterone to cope with…..

Now as men, testosterone is the thing that keeps us going.

It gives us a sense of drive, purpose, and probably allows us to set boundaries, go out into the world with confidence to get things done.

It also generally gives us a sense of confidence, an awareness of our own masculinity and pride in what we achieve in the world.

Obesity reduces sex drive, health and life expectancy
This is not good – but what else is there? How about Keeping FIT? You can try using the Fat Loss Factor program to do this.

But unfortunately, around 50 years of age, testosterone begins to decline, and a man may find that his drive, his motivation, his sense of purpose, and his self-confidence have all taken a knock.

He probably puts on weight. His sex drive declines.

So this is a very dramatic change, or least it can be, and it’s not helped by the fact that it’s accompanied by physical weakness and a number of mental or emotional symptoms, often including depression and irritability.

Sometimes experts say that depression is actually a consequence of the social and cultural changes that a man goes through at this time of life, rather than a symptom of declining testosterone.

 Maybe. But what I think is almost certainly true is that the two  effects generally work together, and the outcome can be what we call the midlife crisis.

This is a time of self reflection, of seeking a new purpose, and perhaps, when no such purpose exists, a sense of purposelessness and even despair.

Therapy may be helpful for a man in midlife
Therapy may be needed for a man undergoing a midlife crisis.

These are not attractive characteristics, either to experience personally, nor for the people around a man who is experiencing the more intense emotional and physical changes that develop around midlife.

So one of the things that can help a man (and his friends and family) to cope with these changes is a clear purpose and mission — something that is important to him, something that he can take pride in achieving as he moves into midlife.

But there are other things that can dramatically help a man to cope with these changes at the time of midlife: it’s really mostly about self-help, which means finding counseling, perhaps or therapy, if it’s needed.

It might mean finding a friend who can be trusted as a confidante, or forming a group of men who are going through the same experience and  who can share their emotions, thoughts and feelings.

It certainly means adapting the way you enjoy sex. One thing’s for sure: sex is going to occur less often, because your sex drive and libido have decreased (as, probably, has your partner’s).

And then, there is also the question of muscular atrophy, which takes place slowly from the age of 50, and increases its pace as the man moves into old age.

Young bucks and old stallions
Young bucks and old stallions

GS-mature-man-hombre-2-1113fg-v-977 (1)

One answer to this is testosterone supplementation, and a very effective answer it is, too. But along with testosterone supplementation there has to be a degree of self-help, particularly where physical fitness is concerned.

Both aerobic and strength building exercises are very necessary to maintain muscle development and physical strength, besides giving a sense of well-being due to the production of endorphins in the brain.

Now one of the things you’re going to do here, probably, being a man, is to seek out a personal trainer and engage him in your fight against aging. That is expensive and possibly restrictive.

But fitness is important. Because how fit you are determines how much you are likely to enjoy sex. Fitness is linked to sex and sexual capacity.

I have a different suggestion.

Use the Fat Loss Factor

This is a fitness program for men.  In fact, it’s actually a fitness program designed specifically for every individual man who uses it. That’s to say, it is tailored specifically to your physiology. That’s why it’s so helpful at building muscle development and stopping muscle atrophy in mid life.

When you sign up, you fill in a questionnaire which gives the program sufficient information to design a personalized exercise program and personalised nutrition program that you can print out.

These are quite sophisticated documents, because they are tailored to you individually.

But the sophistication of the system doesn’t stop there: you can actually download these programs onto your iPhone or tablet so that you have been with you at all times.

That means that you can take them to the gym and use them there, or you can take them into your fitness suite at home and use them in privacy. Obviously for those who don’t like gyms this is a massive benefit.

Mid Life Crisis Symptoms

It Is Important To Recognize When A Man May Be Having A Midlife Crisis

The mid-life crisis is a phenomena that is often treated as a joke.

When it hits real people in their lives, however, it has the potential to be very destructive. The symptoms can be debilitating on their own.

When a man is with a partner who does not understand them, they can trigger the break down of a relationship. Because of this, it is critical for anyone to be able to recognize the signs of midlife crisis in men.

There is no single strict criteria that a man has to meet to be said to be experiencing a midlife crisis. There are a lot of themes that tend to arise in his life as a part of it, though.

The middle stage of life is often when a man begins to look closely at how much he has achieved in life compared to what he hoped to do when he started out as a boy. In many cases, there is a significant gap between the two.

Even when the gap is not large, it is often the case that he looks at his life and realizes that the achievements he fought so hard to win are less fulfilling than expected.

If a man begins to seem restless and dissatisfied around the middle of his life, it is important to try not to take it too personally.

Those who are in this situation often experience symptoms that are much like depression, and they can even go through a kind of mourning as they work to accept that the lives they dreamed about will not become reality.

It is very easy for a man’s life partner to assume that these feelings mean that he is unhappy or resentful about the life that they share.

In reality, though, it is just a natural adjustment period. Understanding this can go a long way toward reducing the pain and the friction in the relationship over this issue.

It is natural that some men will reach a stage in life where they realize that they are mortal and that some goals may simply be beyond their reach.

This can be  a difficult adjustment, and it is sometimes even one that requires the guidance of a therapist.

The important thing is to try to be supportive of the men in your life, and not to take it too personally if they seem to suddenly become unsettled with life. It is not abnormal, and it is something that you can work through together.

Signs Of The Midlife Crisis In Men

When you hear the term Midlife crisis in men, chances are you think of trophy wives and fancy little sports cars.

Jokes are made about this transition period, but it is actually something  that should be taken seriously. And this time in life isn’t all bad either.

The term midlife crisis was introduced by Elliott Jacques in 1965. He defined this as a time when adults come to realize that life is moving along at a rapid rate and they are mortal. Others credit this term to Erik Erickson.

No matter who gets the credit though, a midlife crisis is a time when people stop to take a look at their overall life.

This may come out of the blue or it may result from a major life occurrence, such as the death of a parent or the youngest child leaving the nest for good.

Mid life crisis symptoms vary greatly from person to person. Some find they are unable to sleep while others want to do nothing, but stay in bed.

Morbidity often rears its ugly head and concentration may be a thing of the past. Regrets are not uncommon during this stage of life and men find they have sharp longings for a particular item or person.

You may find that you are struggling with the answers to big questions, such as, “What am I doing with my life?”

A majority of men experience a midlife crisis. This transition period frequently involves work and family, but it can affect other areas of life also.

Therapy may be helpful for a man in midlife
Therapy may be needed for a man in midlife

You may begin questioning your economic status or religion may change in terms of how it affects your life.

Goals and priorities are reevaluated at this time and dreams may be followed up on. Lives change drastically at this time and this can be very tough for all involved.

A man’s response to a midlife crisis depends in part on the support he receives from others.

If no support is received, depression may result.

What are the signs to look for and what needs to be done when you become depressed? Symptoms of depression include feelings of hopelessness, pessimism, helplessness, guilt or worthlessness.

If you no longer enjoy activities you have in the past, you may be depressed. Changes in eating or sleeping habits have been noted with depression and the same is true of restlessness or irritability.

If you find you are depressed, seek the assistance of a professional.

Your doctor can help you get through your midlife crisis and depression. Therapy helps as do antidepressant medications.

The time has come to make changes in your life. You are in a whole new stage and it can be a great one. It’s all a matter of how you deal with these changes and where you want to go….. so you might like to try this….

The ManKind Project (MKP) is an international organisation of volunteer men who are passionate about empowering men to live their true potential.

We are a progressive men’s organisation inclusive and affirming of all men, regardless of colour, class, sexual orientation, religious affiliation, age, ability, and race. All men are welcome here!